Blackest Friday

Two weeks.

Two weeks to the insanity and deals and craziness of Black Friday. It's never been my thing, to get up at the crack of dawn so I can score great deals on this or that item. Let's face it, it has never been my thing to wake up early, period.

This year, Black Friday is a little blacker than normal.

This year, Black Friday also happens to fall on Ryan's 8th birthday. Or, rather, what is supposed to be his 8th birthday.

It is still his birthday even if he is no longer alive to celebrate, right?

It is three months and one day since his mother called me, asked me if I was somewhere safe ("You're not driving, are you?"), and broke the news that Ryan was gone. My head and my heart have yet to grasp this. How does a little boy die? How does he suffer so excruciatingly much and not get to live as a reward?

How does time keep marching on, without him here?

We don't get to throw him a party this year. We don't get to sing and snap pictures as he blows out eight candles. There won't be any gift wrap detritus to clean up while he explores new toys and presents.

Instead, we can leave balloons and flowers at a snowy gravesite and pray that somewhere, that sweet, brave little boy knows we remember him on his day.

Will you help us remember him? Will you help us to celebrate in some small way?

Friday, November 25. Ryan's Birthday. Do Something Nice for a Child Day.

Anything nice. Big, small, secret, public, for a child you know or a child who is unknown to you. Just do something nice, that you might not otherwise do that day.

Maybe while you are out shopping for deals you buy an extra toy to donate to Toys for Tots. Maybe you drop some children's books or children's mittens at a shelter. Maybe, when your own child does that one annoying thing for the millionth time (leave the lights on? forget to clear their place at the table? forget to flush?) instead of calling them back and nagging them to take care of it, you simply take care of it yourself and take a moment to be grateful for the fact that your child is still here to make those messes. Maybe you let your kids have ice cream for dinner, or stay up late, or make them their favorite breakfast in bed. Maybe it is something else, entirely.

Just something nice...just because they are still here, because you still can.

I promise you, when all is said and done, you will not regret one single loving act or word or moment that you shared with another person. You'll just wish you'd had more chances to share.